So, here we are again: 364 days have passed since the last Bot Brawl and now it’s time for the 2019 competition to get underway. There were quite a few changes this time around, most notably being the lack of the deafening screams of an ball shooting air cannon next door. I don’t know why it was removed, but it was unanimously agreed upon that this mechanical monstrosity wasn’t missed.
One thing that actually surprised me when I got there was the fact that the arena had a new floor. In previous years the floor was pretty much hardwood. This year it looked like it was some kind of plywood with a smooth top, similar to Motorama’s arena. Of course, this meant by the time the competition was over, the floor would turn to absolute trash. Not an hour of having the new floor - the competition hasn’t even started, by the way - and Mario loads Spitwad into the arena which promptly gets its healthy dosage of fiber as it chews up the floor. Great job, Mario, this is why we can’t have nice things.
One thing that actually surprised me when I got there was the fact that the arena had a new floor. In previous years the floor was pretty much hardwood. This year it looked like it was some kind of plywood with a smooth top, similar to Motorama’s arena. Of course, this meant by the time the competition was over, the floor would turn to absolute trash. Not an hour of having the new floor - the competition hasn’t even started, by the way - and Mario loads Spitwad into the arena which promptly gets its healthy dosage of fiber as it chews up the floor. Great job, Mario, this is why we can’t have nice things.
Things are almost instantly better for me, as electronically speaking, 841 is actually fully functional. Because of an issue on my part, the holes where one mounts the armor were incorrect, placing them too far back. Too busy (and a bit too lazy) to fix it, the simplest solution is Gorilla Tape. Take it to weigh in, and... it’s .25 ounces over the weight limit... Either I forgot something when I weighed it last time, the elevation changed, or there was something inside of my robot that shouldn’t have been, because I weighed it a month prior and it was only 14.8 ounces! Now, I’ve gotta figure out how to shave off some weight. After drilling some s p e e d holes in the frame, removing some of the Gorilla Tape, and tearing off the plastic cover on my 6-channel receiver, I manage to make weight. Barely. I can’t emphasize enough just how close I was to not making weight. It was 16oz even, literally being but maybe a couple hundredths of an ounce under. Testing went perfectly fine: no issues encountered at all!
It was at this point that I decided to take a look at the competition, taking pictures of bots as they showed up and when I got the chance. With a robot ready to roll and about 90 minutes to kill, I sat back and flapped my gums with whoever was within proximity. I could've spent the time to eat some of the bagels they had, but if I had known they had bagels there, I wouldn't have torn through three whole packages of mini brownies at 5 in the morning.
(Note that there are a few robots not seen that competed. I'm sure those of you who were there will know what ones I missed)
(Note that there are a few robots not seen that competed. I'm sure those of you who were there will know what ones I missed)
ROUND 1 - 841 vs Chopped Sallad
While I was trying to figure out how to reduce weight, a man sat up shop down next to my setup (which was just one toolbox on this table about as long as my bed) and tried to get me to remove the teeth of my drum: it'd make weight then, but unless I remove ALL of them, the weapon would actually be unbalanced, and there really isn't any location I could put the two teeth that would make it as viable as the setup I had now. A few minutes before the competition starts, the bracket is released, and my pit neighbor also happens to be my first opponent. I know what I should go for: anything that wasn't construction site orange that could hurl 841 out of the arena and into next year's tournament.
This fight went a lot better than expected. The plan was to try to get around to his sides, which had sharp angles that I could easily get purchase on with the weapon's teeth. The initial impact between our weapons had me genuinely worried that I was going to be on the receiving end of something gnarly, but I guess luck was on my side... just this once. Post-match examination of both robots showed minimal damage to 841, whilst Chopped Sallad ended up with a divot out of its backside and the drivetrain on its right side completely torn up beyond repair. The only issue I could see looking back was the weapon seemed to be grinding, either because I was unable to get Chopped Sallad into the weapon because of the wedgelets or because the weapon didn't want to gather any purchase.
For those of you who don't know, or those of you who may have forgotten, Dallas Goecker isn't just your typical robot builder: this guy has been around since 1996, most famously known for his robot "Sallad", a lightweight back in the Comedy Central era of Battlebots. It wasn't until I watched the footage that I realized the man I had talked to, and was sitting next to the entire time, was quite literally a living legend.
Result - win by TKO
Round 2: 841 vs Saint Michael
After the fight with Chopped Sallad, all I had to do was recharge the batteries and watch everybody else get through their fights.I was up against Saint Michael next, a four-wheeled wedge. The design is known as a Candy_Wasp kit sold by the same folks who built the famous D2 kits so commonly seen in the 3lb category. These things are designed like tanks and have the ability to survive virtually anything their enemies have to offer. This fight was going to be kit vs kit, the Kitbots Saifu vs the Botkits Candy_Wasp... that is, until Saint Michael experienced technical issues and was forced to forfeit.
Result - Win by Forfeit
Round 3: 841 vs Wedgie Time
After Saint Michael forfeited its match, I was slated to fight Wedgie Time, a simple two-wheeled wedge with interchangeable weaponry. What you see in the picture above are their "forks", designed to combat a variety of designs... drum spinners included. Their other option was what many call an "anti-spinner" wedge.
I'd like to say that there was a strategy going into this fight, but there really wasn't. What makes it hard to hit this thing is the fact that it has an impressive amount of reach in its forks, which are longer than its actual body! Not only that, its got some speed and power behind it, and on top of all of that some of the forks lift up off the ground as they drive, allowing it to poke and prod at me with its fingers and push me around without having to worry about a whole lot of damage taken. Ironically, the first hit doesn't send Wedgie Time into the air, but flips me over. I don't know how, but regardless I am now upside-down. I take a second to adjust to the driving and Wedgie Time ever-so-graciously helps me back upright. The shot that sends sparks might have been pretty, but it did diddly squat to stop him. In fact, I don't think it even damaged it! The next hit clipped one of the forks pointing upwards, locking one of the forks in place. This actually makes it harder to score a direct hit because it keeps getting in the way, but eventually I get a good shot against two of the forks.
This, however, lets the fork that was once stuck to lower back down, and now we're kinda back to square one. A few more exchanges and, out of absolutely nowhere, one of my titanium horns goes flying off with no explanation (well, I mean, there is, but it's after this segment explaining what happened). The last hit folds the forks of Wedgie Time in on themselves, and not wanting to tussle for the last 30 seconds against this tough little wedge I leave 'em be... until a part of me says to hit him again and I do just that. In hindsight this was not a good idea and could've easily gone to a tough judge's decision, in my opinion.
This, however, lets the fork that was once stuck to lower back down, and now we're kinda back to square one. A few more exchanges and, out of absolutely nowhere, one of my titanium horns goes flying off with no explanation (well, I mean, there is, but it's after this segment explaining what happened). The last hit folds the forks of Wedgie Time in on themselves, and not wanting to tussle for the last 30 seconds against this tough little wedge I leave 'em be... until a part of me says to hit him again and I do just that. In hindsight this was not a good idea and could've easily gone to a tough judge's decision, in my opinion.
On Wedgie Time's end, it's hard to tell from this picture, but I wound up bending their entire shaft after the repeated beatings from the drum of 841, which was why the forks got stuck in the last few moments of the fight. On my end, however, I need to figure out why exactly my horn ejected off the side of my robot, and how to fix it. I do the latter simply by re-tightening the screws. Surely that would be enough to suffice, right? I also apparently ripped my own LED out mid-match, but this was easily replaced with help from one of my good ol pit pals.
Result - Win by KO
Round 4: 841 vs Spinook
841 and Spinook's story actually goes back to last year. Camden had set up shop next to me last year and had wasted no time making me as uncomfortable as possible as he frothed at the mouth talking about how his robot was going to blow a hole through mine with the new upgrades he made specifically to counter drum spinners like mine. Why, you may ask? In 2017, Spinook took a loss to Ignatz, a Saifu kit Tom Spaulding custom built from the ground up. It looks very similar, but when you start taking it apart it becomes clear very quickly just how different it is compared to the default kits. As a result, Spinook was completely rebuilt, utilizing a 3D-printed Onyx Shell with sloped teeth built to get under the drums along the inside where the teeth would, in theory, grab hold and rip into the UHMW. If it missed, then the least it could do is hopefully pick up and fling whatever it touches across the arena and even into the air.
There was only one tactic I could hope to employ: a box rush with my weapon up to full speed. This is immediately squandered, however, as my forks get stuck in the floor. When I realized I was no longer able to get to him without hitting his shell, which was now at full speed, I decided to try to let him come in close, slam off of the arena walls, and attack as he tries to get back up to speed. This fails miserably, and I wind up getting flipped upside-down. By a shell spinner. This hit pops one wedgelet off, and then Spinook strikes again, cleaving into the inside of the side of 841. because of the angle it hits at, combined with the speed of my drum, this causes the robot to pull a Warhead and start sliding acorss the arena floor until Camden's shell spinner boops me up into the air yet again. At this point, 841 has lost both of its titanium horns and its armor is disconnected from the body, still held on by the backside. The next few shots aren't all that spectacular, but the last shot has be backed against the wall. Because physics, 841 is forced up Spinook's weapon, on its head a third time, and it slides its way into the wall, where I decide to tap out before things get real ugly.
It's pretty clear taking it back what damage was received from Spinook. Surprisingly enough, the armor is pretty much unharmed. Regardless, i replace it with my backup armor (though the original one could've easily withstood the rest of the fight). The horns are damaged, as suspected, but what I hadn't expected was for Spinook to tear one of the horns clean off - no dremels required! Camden came up to me after the match and helped replace the botched excuse of a repair job ever. See, I had intended to run the robot with zip ties since they had snapped off. Instead, I replaced the screws with bolts than went all the way through the armor. Needless to say the armor wasn’t going to go anywhere now!
Result - Loss by tapout
Round 5: 841 vs Dipster
My next fight was up against a team that I had fought last year. Remember the robot from last year named Tzschüeper? If you didn't read that article, then chances are you missed a few jokes and references to last year's event, and you probably didn't realize that the picture of Spinook above was taken last year, not this year. Anyways, a robot that they brought last year, Dipster, was a spring-loaded flipper that was converted into to vertically-mounted saw blade.
Let me be completely honest, both this fight and the next really didn't have any strategy apart from "smash into the enemy and see what breaks". Plus, this match really speaks for itself: the first hit throws Dipster through a loop, and the second cleaves into the armor, throwing them across the arena a second time and ripping the battery out of the robot, which you can see laying in on the right side of the video. There isn't a whole lot to say about post-fight damage other than the fact that the entire right side of the robot was blown apart and the weapon mount had been torn up.
Result - Win by TKO
Round 6 - 841 vs This Is A Test MKII
As if the Deja Vu of fighting the Bleach Boys team again wasn't enough, my next match would be up against TML Productions: another team I fought last year and lost to. In fact, these were the fellas that built Happy Gnome, the first real match that I had ever had... and promptly lost to. Happy Gnome was back this year, and a new robot named Last Resort was there (it wasn't anything exciting, just a D2 Kit). Most interesting was This Is A Test MK II, which I think should've been called MK III seeing that this was, in fact, the third revision of the robot. In 2017 the robot was a simple wedge with several parts created out of Lego pieces, and was revised to be a vertical spinner in 2018. This year marks the third version of the robot, now sporting a nasty-looking single tooth flywheel.
What can't be seen on the footage very clearly (if at all) was that TIAT2's weapon (yeah, I'm not gonna type 'This Is A Test MKII five or six times) up and puffed out a load of smoke as it tried to get up to speed. It's uncertain as to where exactly this smoke came from, but the team says they believe it was from the belt rubbing where it wasn't supposed to, decommissioning the weapon or the fight. Everything goes fairly silent besides the scream of 841's weapon... and then it connects, sending a shockwave so forceful it awakened my great grandmother from her grave. I had never seen this robot emit so much force, and admittedly I felt like David Rush for a split second.
TIAT2 decides to employ the same strategy I did and run towards the pit, but this doesn't work (in part because I can't drive as good as I was moments before) and he comes back to me, kiting me like a Minecraft Mob. Yeah, I'm making that kind of reference, I don't care if it's outdated. Anyways, TIAT2 now has me in the general vicinity of the pit, where the team hopes to corral me into the pit. Instead, they get a second uppercut, throwing them to the ceiling again. 30 seconds remain. The drivetrain starts to fail enough that I'm having issues driving straight, but combine this with a 6-oz drum running at 10,000RPM and my wedgelets sticking to the floor with every tiny crack or crevice and I didn't really think there was anything major wrong. Once they've corraled me towards the pit, I try to get away... I get away, alright, but Newton's 3rd law causes me to slide backwards into the pit, knocking me out of the competition.
TIAT2 decides to employ the same strategy I did and run towards the pit, but this doesn't work (in part because I can't drive as good as I was moments before) and he comes back to me, kiting me like a Minecraft Mob. Yeah, I'm making that kind of reference, I don't care if it's outdated. Anyways, TIAT2 now has me in the general vicinity of the pit, where the team hopes to corral me into the pit. Instead, they get a second uppercut, throwing them to the ceiling again. 30 seconds remain. The drivetrain starts to fail enough that I'm having issues driving straight, but combine this with a 6-oz drum running at 10,000RPM and my wedgelets sticking to the floor with every tiny crack or crevice and I didn't really think there was anything major wrong. Once they've corraled me towards the pit, I try to get away... I get away, alright, but Newton's 3rd law causes me to slide backwards into the pit, knocking me out of the competition.
Looking over 841, I realize that I've somehow ruptured the entire right gearbox. I don't know how this happened, but I'd like to blame Spinook for part of the reason this happened. On TIAT2's end, I managed to snap their frame. May I remind you that this is Onyx, a carbon-infused material that's insanely strong. Although I was disappointed for the loss, at least 841 was actually a contender this year with some genuine wins... and reasons for losing!
Result - Loss by KO
BONUS FIGHT - Antweight Rumble
After my match with This Is A Test MKII, I went back to the pits and replaced the broken motor. I get it plugged in, test the robot's drivetrain, and... everything is all wrong!! For some reason, forwards was right, right was forwards, left was nothing, and backwards was reverse left. I didn't have any time to reprogram the controller or ask for help, so I ended up throwing it in as it was.
Here are all of the robots I could name from the video below, in no particular order:
Here are all of the robots I could name from the video below, in no particular order:
- Paul's Revenge (Drum Spinner)
- Wedgie Time
- Happy Gnome (Horizontal Bar Spinner)
- The Krave Monster
- Tirade (Lifter)
- Petty Thief (Vertical Flywheel)
- Shenzhou (Flipper)
- General Spinster (Horizontal Bar Spinner)
- Taco Con Carnage
- Shuffle Truffle (Horizontal Bars, Brushbot)
- Tzschüeper
- Space Bear (Wedge)
- Stranded (Angled Bar Spinner)
There is nobody, not a single human being, who goes into a rumble with a plan or method of attack: it's just never happened. I run towards the first thing that I can hit, and that thing happens to be Taco Con Carnage, a robot built in 2 hours out of a taco pinata and popsicle sticks. Petty Thief comes in and starts shoving me towards The Krave Monster, and eventually I get stuck up under it. My response? Spin the weapon faster and hope to throw it off of me. Obviously, this fails because the titanium horns have lodged into it, so it's up and out of the way of my weapon. I get out of its grasp, and then 841 wears The Krave Monster like a hat. Pretty funny, but we're still stuck. I finally crawl out from underneath him, blasting through Shenzhou's wheel in the process whilst also causing my weapon to simply up and die. The rest of the match is anti-climatic with everyody just kinda pushing eachother around as Tirade has a convulsion, throwing itself about the arena and winning the rumble.
Result - Loss from Crowd Voting
Epilogue
I’m disappointed with the fact that I lost, but filled with rapture given that it actually worked this year! Here’s the list of things that will need to be done for next year:
In the meantime, you can follow me on my social media for the things I don’t (and probably won’t) discuss here.
- After some troubleshooting, I found out one of the bullet connectors shorted. Sadly, I don't know of any way to fix this, so it looks like I'll need a new weapon motor...
- My wedgelets worked great, but they kept getting stuck to the floor. I’ve considered shedding the horns and using the titanium ones only if there’s a need for them. Or the floor’s made of metal.
- Weight reduction will be necessary to avoid scrambling for weight reduction at the event.
- Let’s ditch the Gorilla Tape for next year, yeah?
In the meantime, you can follow me on my social media for the things I don’t (and probably won’t) discuss here.