Bot Brawl 2018 was the first year I had actually brought a robot to fight with, despite numerous delays and potholes in my plans. Getting to the arena, I was one of the first to actually get a seat, with a certain fella by the name of Camden deciding to cop a squat next to me with his hockey puck of death, Spinook. He wastes no time talking about all of the little things he did to his weapon of mass destruction to counteract robots like mine, which he initially mistook for the much more successful Ignatz that beat him last year. Regardless, this isn't helping me get comfortable.
After about a half an hour of sitting there like a vegetable I finally reconnect to the server as David Small and David Rush appear from seemingly out of nowhere (to make things simple, I'll refer to them as Small and Rush from this point forwards). After getting settled in, or at least as settled as a roboteer can get, Small addresses the DESC issue. Long story short, Rush did what a certain Swedish YouTuber refers to as "an oopsie" when working on the DESC and wired it incorrectly. Small gives me a spare DESC he brought with him, I turn the remote on and... nothing. Try it again? Nothing. Third time's a charm? Well, now one side is driving, but not the other. I begin to panic as the David Duo scrambles to get their robots and mine assembled... now with only 15 minutes before safety inspection closes. They decide to leave me to my own devices, thinking of how exactly I'm going to pass safety. Last call for safety, and I walk up with my robot - which looks like it's about to pop at the seams. The drive barely works and the weapon barely spins beyond maybe 10RPM. Hey, at least I passed safety, right?
After about a half an hour of sitting there like a vegetable I finally reconnect to the server as David Small and David Rush appear from seemingly out of nowhere (to make things simple, I'll refer to them as Small and Rush from this point forwards). After getting settled in, or at least as settled as a roboteer can get, Small addresses the DESC issue. Long story short, Rush did what a certain Swedish YouTuber refers to as "an oopsie" when working on the DESC and wired it incorrectly. Small gives me a spare DESC he brought with him, I turn the remote on and... nothing. Try it again? Nothing. Third time's a charm? Well, now one side is driving, but not the other. I begin to panic as the David Duo scrambles to get their robots and mine assembled... now with only 15 minutes before safety inspection closes. They decide to leave me to my own devices, thinking of how exactly I'm going to pass safety. Last call for safety, and I walk up with my robot - which looks like it's about to pop at the seams. The drive barely works and the weapon barely spins beyond maybe 10RPM. Hey, at least I passed safety, right?
ROUND 1: 841 vs Happy Gnome
After passing safety, I checked the bracket and was given a robot named "Charlie", a 2WD wedge thing made from a RC car. I'm glad that I have an easy opponent to start with... Right? Nope, because the bracket changes several times as they register all of the names and I'm drawn up against Happy Gnome. Now, I hadn't actually seen Happy Gnome prior to this, despite the team being positioned right behind me and the Davids. The only thing that remotely resembled a gnome was a literal garden gnome sitting at the edge of the table with its goofy little grin. I load my crippled potato into the arena and I immediately realize what I'm in for.
As I hobble out of the arena, Happy Gnome wastes no time rushing across the box to make contact while I simply waggle the controller up and down, hoping that the robot can crab walk its way away from their sawblade: something that I DON'T want to be on the receiving end of. By pure luck, I shuffle away from the robot and cause it to hit the arena wall, hurling Happy Gnome away from me and back to GO, where it collected $200. After adjusting themselves, they slowly come back on the attack, and I'm slightly inclined to believe they didn't exactly know what to expect or how to attack, because if I had been in their shoes and knew my opponent was limping around, I'd be going ham on them. After about the longest 20 seconds in history, Happy Gnome gains purchase on my body, leaving a clean divot in the bottom of my robot's horn.
He then hits again, spinning my robot around and backing me against the wall, only to hit me yet again near the same spot. if you pay close attention, you'll notice something yellow on the back of 841: that's the battery. It wasn't until after the competition that I realized how lucky I was that their blade wasn't a few millimeters higher. Still with no strategy, I spaz about the arena as Happy Gnome kinda sits back and watches me make a fool of myself, giving me a little pack on the booty once again as I slowly drift in his direction. By this point, I had gotten used to the crab walking, kind of, and decided to try to corral Happy Gnome towards the arena, where it would either get pushed in, knocked in under its own force, or a sudden gust of wind would magically appear in the arena and blow my adversary into the pit. Ignore the fact that the announcer said it was a bad strategy: it was a perfectly reasonable strategy compared to simply deciding to commit die, right? Well, the icing on top of this bland cake of a performance is that I ended up getting stuck on the edge of the arena. Worst of all was that Happy Gnome just sat there, not finishing me off. I went back to the pit to assess the damage, the gnome simply staring at me with that cheeky grin across his face. Yeah, you think you're so funny making a fool outta me, don't you Mr. Gnome?
I don't really need to speak about what damage was done, I think the image below speaks for itself.
He then hits again, spinning my robot around and backing me against the wall, only to hit me yet again near the same spot. if you pay close attention, you'll notice something yellow on the back of 841: that's the battery. It wasn't until after the competition that I realized how lucky I was that their blade wasn't a few millimeters higher. Still with no strategy, I spaz about the arena as Happy Gnome kinda sits back and watches me make a fool of myself, giving me a little pack on the booty once again as I slowly drift in his direction. By this point, I had gotten used to the crab walking, kind of, and decided to try to corral Happy Gnome towards the arena, where it would either get pushed in, knocked in under its own force, or a sudden gust of wind would magically appear in the arena and blow my adversary into the pit. Ignore the fact that the announcer said it was a bad strategy: it was a perfectly reasonable strategy compared to simply deciding to commit die, right? Well, the icing on top of this bland cake of a performance is that I ended up getting stuck on the edge of the arena. Worst of all was that Happy Gnome just sat there, not finishing me off. I went back to the pit to assess the damage, the gnome simply staring at me with that cheeky grin across his face. Yeah, you think you're so funny making a fool outta me, don't you Mr. Gnome?
I don't really need to speak about what damage was done, I think the image below speaks for itself.
Result: 841- loss by knockout
ROUND 2: 841 vs Not So Free Hugs
After my loss to Happy Gnome, I re-worked on the drive. After talking with Small, we switched over to an Endbots DESC given to me my Jeffery Olijar: you know, the head honcho of Endbots. For some reason, however, the robot had the same problem. Rush then scrambled about and found a Vex 29 DESC, which was the only other option I had to try unless I wanted to put on another performance like the last one. David twiddled his fingers, set up the drive, and ZOO WEE MAMA! She ran right! It was during testing that I ran into a second problem: the drum wasn't spinning. I mean it was, but it wasn't doing it like it was supposed to be. Normally the drums are real zippy and can get up to spead fairly quickly, but this? This was beyond slow: it was abysmal, taking over 5 seconds to accelerate (according to Camden, who watched over me like a buzzard thinking about turning my robot into a plastic carcass with Spinook). I decided not to worry too much about it for now or paster Small about the issue, seeing that he had to keep the Highlander up and running and, unlike me, was actually putting up a fight. When I heard my next opponent was Not So Free Hugs, I was both excited (because it was a new bot) and afraid (because the driver, Tom Spaulding, was one of the best at Bot Brawl). This evolved moments later into the feelings of disappointment and relief when I found out that Not So Free Hugs had to forfeit. Why? two reasons: his DESC exploded, and saws shattered upon impact with its opponent. I used that time to make a very, very important additions to the robot: googly eyes. Oh, yeah, and a bit of Gorilla Tape on the armor since I didn't have a spare.
This picture can help you visualize the bloating of the robot's interior. Also note I never added all of the screws, because I was too tight on time to want to add them all. Or perhaps it was because I was lazy. If you look closely, you can also see the area in which Happy Gnome cleaved into my side and left a mark across the horn.
This picture can help you visualize the bloating of the robot's interior. Also note I never added all of the screws, because I was too tight on time to want to add them all. Or perhaps it was because I was lazy. If you look closely, you can also see the area in which Happy Gnome cleaved into my side and left a mark across the horn.
Result: 841- win by bye
(Below: Not So Free Hugs' Only Fight)
BONUS ROUND 1: Rhino vs Chunky Monkey
Rhino was... a thing. Being honest, I had no clue what on earth it was, but whatever it was, it was fun to watch. Carter Hurd's bots are always like that: Krave Monster, Danger Zone, King Googly. Apparently, the reason he went with this odd bod created from Shape-Lock Plastic and not King Googly was because it was too large for the arena's 12" x 12" x 12" dimensions when outstretched and it wouldn't fit in the trap door or something stupid yet reasonable like that? Anyways, Hurd came up to me while I was waltzing about, not doing anything with my robot (which I should've been), and said "Hey, wanna drive this minibot next round?" As any human being would, I said "Sure!"
Rhino's assistant was nothing more than a Hexbug Tombstone with an added wedge. When the match started, there wasn't really a plan with this thing: I just drove about aimlessly, hoping to maybe lodge myself underneath him? It became clear right away that this thing was not winning an award for speed or power any time soon, but what hadn't became clear (at least immediately) was the fact that the controller couldn't even reach across the entire length of the arena. As a result, I had to run around to the other side to kick it back to life, but it isn't long after that and Rhino takes a dip into the pit.
Rhino's assistant was nothing more than a Hexbug Tombstone with an added wedge. When the match started, there wasn't really a plan with this thing: I just drove about aimlessly, hoping to maybe lodge myself underneath him? It became clear right away that this thing was not winning an award for speed or power any time soon, but what hadn't became clear (at least immediately) was the fact that the controller couldn't even reach across the entire length of the arena. As a result, I had to run around to the other side to kick it back to life, but it isn't long after that and Rhino takes a dip into the pit.
Result: Rhino- loss by knockout
ROUND 3: 841 vs Tzschüeper
After my fight alongside Rhino, it was off to lunch where I ate Chick-fil-A my mom graciously brought over. I ate it, and then took a little siesta when I should've been working on getting my robot up and running for my next fight against Tzschüeper (pronounced Jooper, for the 99% of you struggling to read its name). In contrast to Happy Gnome, this robot wasn't hitting low, this one was hitting high: high enough to beat the stuffing out of the upper half of my armor. Despite its look giving off the same vibes as one of those Thai restaurants tucked into the corner of nearly every city with a population at or above 10,000, this robot is not joke when it makes contact. I'm called up to the arena. I get up there, and I turn 841 on. I notice drive is starting to get a bit weird, but nothing hugely notable. Perhaps it was just me?
Not even 5 seconds into the match, and I'm already experiencing drive problems. Come on, Small, I though your magical coding fingers fixed this! This fight ends up being the same as the last one, so I won't bore you with the super specifics. This is nothing more than a field day for Tzschüeper as it doesn't miss a beat, going absolutely biddly-bonkers on anything its weapon can gain purchase on. As this happens, I'm trying desperately to get my own weapon up to speed, getting knocked and bopped about once again. My only option is to try to face the foam towards Tzschüeper as it hits me. Although most would think this is a stupid idea, some of you might note that foam isn't the easiest thing in the world to get a good bite on, and by holding Spongebob Squarepants hostage on the back of my weapon, his face can be brutally ripped open by my opponent as the already damaged rear gets away scot-free. This match ends up being what would happen if Tombstone vs Minotaur was done on a $5 budget, going the distance and to a Judge's decision, where they pretty fairly give a unanimous decision to Tzschüeper, whose name I had to copy and paste for the fifth time now in this article because there's no way I'm going to try to type it each and every time.
Good news; the armor returned mostly unscathed by Tzschüeper's weapon thanks to the power of foam and stupid last-minute ideas! Turn the robot around, however, and it becomes obvious that its face was beaten by the ugly stick. Both of the horns are bent beyond repair, and a massive gash is cut through one of them. The other one is bent so far inwards that I didn't have the ability to spin my weapon (like it even did to begin with). I hastily borrow a dremel and do some surgery, cutting the horn off and selling it on the Vietnamese market in exchange for some Bitcoins.
Result: 841- loss by JD (0-3)
BONUS ROUND 2: Antweight Rumble
After my loss and my elimination from the bracket, I decided to enter 841 into the rumble. I mean, what was there left to lose? The drivetrain? Actually, yes, that was the only thing left to lose. Regardless, I entered the rumble and got ready to roll. After a bit of a scrimmage between Taster and 841 while getting settled in, we fought. I was very surprised by the end result. Drive worked fine, and I got the weapon up to about 30% -40% speed. But, guess what happened? That's right, it wouldn't spin up all the way, and the few hits I did land against an opponent stopped the weapon entirely! Yaaaaay! Thus, I spent most of the fight shoving people about, which I did quite well! I only managed to lose the two eyes of 841, but nothing else.
Final Position: 13th (alongside Dipster, Mr. Spinster, and Forklift)
Now What?
After those fights, here's what I have concluded about 841 and need to work on:
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I wanted to say thanks to everybody for their help on and support for 841 this year!